A Guide...Is this really true though?

I know it’s weird, but I like jokes, and other random stuff like that. So today I was looking at nursing jokes, and somehow stumbled on a guide to understanding guys and the things they say. Here are some of the ones I laughed at.
"It's a guy thing."Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Good idea."Really means...."It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
"We're going to be late."Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"It would take too long to explain."Really means...."I have no idea how it works."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."Really means...."I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house."Really means...."I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."Really means...."You may actually get it to start."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."Really means...."No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."Really means...."I make the messes, she cleans them up."
"Will you marry me?"Really means...."Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
And I saved the best one for last.
"I can't find it."Really means...."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
That one is lived out every single day in my house by my dad and both my brothers.
Last night I went rollerblading with Katelyn, Shelli, and Megan. Actually, Megan rode her bike. The town of Morton was punctuated by random screams as we would go over bumps on the sidewalk. We got hungry, so we headed to Steak and Shake. We were going to roller blade there, but decided that it was a little too far. It was a blast.
To celebrate my two weeks of complete freedom, I went shopping yesterday. Kohl’s had some great sales, and my shoe count went up by two pairs. Today I slept in, and watched Anne of Green Gables. Yep, pretty much that’s all I’ve done. Oh, I did make pancakes for lunch.   :)
But now I’m bored. That’s the bad thing about having nothing to do for two weeks.